What Are We Waiting For?

When you close your eyes, what do you see?

We are all awoken into life, naked and pure, from heat to cold.

Though we have no words, we know how to feel. Our brains haven’t developed enough to trip us up. We see energy. We see love. We see despair. It is the most profound experience of heaven on earth.

Soon enough, we learn to crawl and walk and pull on threads. Unaware of the darkness the world has accumulated, we sometimes find our way into thorny situations. Blind, still mostly naked, the darkness cuts us deeply and causes us to select masks so that we will feel accepted by others, invited to the parties, asked to dance by the cute girl or boy, loved again, even if not for long.

Eventually, we get tired of the superficial dance and begin our walk. Or run, up hills and cliffsides and winding roads where other souls seem to no longer wander. It’s lonely here, and tiring, and really confusing too. And that’s okay. That’s okay.

At some point, we come across a decision diamond. Do I choose love or fear? Will we love this pain, this teaching? Or will we continue running from it? And when we choose love, we see through the illusion and begin to witness how love rises to greater depths as it consumes, embraces that pain.

From this place we can see the light within our souls beaming through our eyes, our smiles, our relationships and our tears. But shit happens. We get blindsided by the news. Darkness exploded in the streets of a war-torn city. A swath of Mother’s skin was peeled back with claws and without consent. People’s mouths run so dry they thirst for more, more, more.

So we unconsciously choose to drink waters that have become polluted by corrupt words and rudderless ships. We plow our life force into relentless calculations, and middle management, and awards that sound good to mom and dad.

This is the landfill of broken spirits. Where art goes to die without ever getting expressed. Yes, the light is still within us. It’s still with us. It’s always there in the here and now. In breath and soil and song and all that is. And, hopefully, we tap into this awareness and dutifully tap out of the machines. The machinations of man.

This is the beginning of our walk with bare medicine. A quest for wisdom, not intellect. Wisdom. Holistic, rooted and perpetual wisdom.

On this path, we see the universe a little different than we’ve ever been trained. We see symbols, guides, tools for deep, long walks. Granted, we’re still human beings, flesh and bones wrapping our most inner hearts, so we still stumble and bruise and break. But we now know the power of those stumbles. We bring our awareness back to the present and quickly realize that this mistake does not define us, not the real us.

Which brings us to the doorstep of our death. A death that no longer scares us. Because we understand now what the Masters have been saying for as long as the word existed.

I am. I see. I am.

As our final flame transforms to embers, it becomes clear that there are some final amends to make. Did we heal enough to heal all wounds? Did we break hearts out of spite? Did we block our own song from ever being heard?

Then peace enters into the empty space and evaporates all pain. Our life’s art and servant’s heart and unexpurgated curiosity leads us deeper into the pool, so that our ripple may be felt by all edges of the lake.

Now it’s time. But without numbers or limits. Now it’s light, face-meltingly white and golden light.

Now it’s love from within, from without, from the source of all that is. And now it’s play and joy, like the inner child’s unencumbered heart.

And that’s it. And so it is. Amen.

When you close your eyes, what do you see?

What are you waiting for?